Oh, Gisele.

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***This was originally written as a Guest Blog post for Momstown.ca.***

Did you see this photo floating around the internet a couple of months ago?

People seemingly went crazy when Gisele Bundchen (who’s Gisele, you say?  Oh, um, she’s the highest-paid supermodel in the world) posted this photo of her feeding her one-year-old daughter while getting ready for a photo shoot.  She hashtagged it #multi-tasking, which to me, sums up motherhood perfectly.

But Social Media went crazy.  I mean crazy crazy.  And the sad part is, it was mostly the women.  Mostly the mothers.  It was the mothers who skipped past the critics that attacked her for tweeting a breastfeeding photo in the first place.  It was the mothers who skipped past the critics that attacked her for nursing a one-year-old.  It was the mothers who skipped right to the heart of the matter.  It was the mothers who said “she’s not really multi-tasking.  How hard is it to have someone do your hair and your nails while you feed your child?”  Huh?

You see this beautiful photo of a mother nursing her baby and you choose to argue over semantics?  The thing is, hair and nails are a part of her job.  Just like phonecalls and meetings or customers and a cash register are a part of your job.  Would you have criticized her if she was sitting behind a desk #multi-tasking?  Or inside a cubicle?  Or in her home office?  I doubt it.  The green of envy is not a flattering hue.

I see this picture and I see a beautiful example of motherhood.  I see a toddler bonding with her mama.  I see a chance to further breast-feeding activism.  I see glitz and glamour and probably a little tongue-in-cheek.  But mostly, I see a mom doing the best she can, #multi-tasking, within her set of circumstances.

I’m off to do the best I can, within mine.

Oh, Gisele.

Tomorrow, you are five.

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Today, you are still four.  But today is the last day for that.  When you wake up tomorrow, my sweet boy, you will be five.  A new half-decade, a whole hand, a next stage.

Five.  Five is school-aged, five is way beyond toddler, five is full-on kid.  Five is skinned knees and dirty socks and dump trucks and hockey.  Five is opinions and conversations and growth.

The other day, you snuggled up to me and told me that I was “the best mom in the world”.  Those words made me happier than I can explain.  When you’re a parent yourself, you’ll understand.  When you’re a teenager, I will remember this.  Your “I-love-you”s, your “please-sing-me-a-song”s, your snuggles and cuddles and kisses, they will dwindle.  Your independence will grow and our relationship will evolve.  But for now, I’ll cherish my sweet, sensitive, cuddly little boy.

You are one half of my greatest accomplishment, my biggest treasure, my deepest emotion.  My everyday-moment-joy doubles when you smile and raises tenfold when you laugh.  I hurt when you hurt, and when you cry on the outside I cry on the inside.  Before we had you, I wasn’t even sure I wanted children, or had a maternal instinct inside of me.  You changed that, my love.  You showed me a side of myself that I didn’t know even existed, and a side of myself that now seems so intuitive, so fateful, so clear, so this-is-what-I-was-meant-to-do obvious.  

I am appreciating each day, each moment, each milestone with you.  I’m learning to be a parent as you’re learning to be a kid.  We’re in this together.  It’s our journey.  Here we go.

1st birthday...

1st birthday…

...2nd....

…2nd….

...3rd....

…3rd….

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…4th…

...and 5th! Happy birthday my sweet boy!!!

…and 5th! Happy birthday my sweet boy!!!

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”
~Robert Munsch

I Wanna do this Right

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***This post was originally written as a Guest Blog post for Momstown.ca.***

I’ve had lots of talks with lots of girlfriends.  I’ve had lots of talks with lots of girlfriends who are moms.  They are moms and daughters and sisters and friends.  This is what I’ve learned:

  • Don’t expect your kids to be perfect.  Perfection is an unattainable and dangerous myth that breeds over-worked, over-stressed, unhappy adults.
  • Pressure is the ratio of force to the area over which that force is distributed.  Children are small.  Keep the pressure small.  High pressure awaits them in adulthood.
  • Don’t make your daughters seek approval, or they will seek it in men.  Don’t make your sons seek approval, or they will seek it in women.  Give praise freely and without condition.
  • Keeping up appearances is not healthy for anyone.  Show your true self and allow your children to do the same.  Be proud of what you are and of what you aren’t.
  • “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”  Remember Thumper the rabbit?  Think about that the next time you tell your child to colour inside the lines.  There is a difference between criticism and suggestion.  Remember what really matters.

I’ve got two young children.  I’ve got one chance.  I wanna do this right.

AshleyW0013