Yeehaw, eh?

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The Royal College of Chiropractic Sports Sciences is putting on a conference this upcoming weekend, the ‘Run Faster’ conference.  conference-logo-and-abilities-centre-white-bottomIf you said this sounds like it would be right up my alley, well then, you would be correct.  But it’s not just because of the Chiropractic Sports Sciences part, which I love, and it’s not just because of the running part, which I also love… it’s because this conference has opened up friendship opportunities abound.

You see, I am lucky to have some incredible friends in my life.  And my girlfriends mean the world to me.  They are the sisters I never had, the shoulders to cry on, the ears to listen, and the arms to hug.  However, since some of my very best friends live very far away, their shoulders and ears and arms are usually via text or email or Skype.  This weekend has changed that.

One friend in particular…. you may remember Ange…. has not had a chance to visit in the six years since we shared a city.  She has not hugged my toddler, or seen my house, or met my dog.  We have not gone out for dinner, or laughed until we cried, or shared unspoken smiles in six years.  Sure, there’s been short visits when I’ve headed West for Christmas or Summer vacation, but they are always rushed and kid-filled and oh-so-short.  This time is different, this time we have time.

And in a worlds-colliding sort of way, Ange is going to meet her Burlington counterpart in my neighbour Marnie.  The similarities between these two, both big (just-turned-forty 1973 birthdays, opinionated, and mothers of girls) and small (passionate about environmentally-sound products, awesomely-unruly curly hair, and good-natured insult banter with my husband) are some of the reasons that I love them both.

Ange is my Western Marnie and Marnie is my Eastern Ange.  Yeehaw, eh?

Gifts and gifts and gifts, Oh My!

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My son, who’s four, came home from Junior Kindergarten last Thursday afternoon with a backpack full of loot bags.  Halloween loot bags.  Halloween loot bags from friends that he has known for eight weeks that were passed out to the entire 18-kid class, labelled ‘To My Friend’, and stuffed with Halloween pencils and erasers, balloons, glow-in-the-dark sticks, and spider rings.  I received a note from his teacher the week prior, reminding parents that if they wanted to “send something in for Halloween” it had to be non-food-related due to allergy concerns.  I chose not to send anything in, and here’s why:

When did this never-ending cycle of gift-giving start?  There’s the obvious biggies- Christmas and birthdays.  But when did it become commonplace to shower our children with ‘stuff’ every month of the year?  There’s back-to-school gifts in September, Halloween gifts in October, and New Year’s gifts in January.  Don’t forget the Valentine’s hoop-la in February, Dr. Seuss Day in March, and Easter baskets in April.  Oh, and Thanksgiving and Canada Day and the first day of Spring. What about June?  Ah yes, the “passing present” when they finish school.  Yes, you read that right: a passing present- that is, buying them a present for “passing” to the next grade level.

Please don’t get me wrong.  I am all about celebrations.  I am the first one to give a hug, a congratulatory phone call, or mail a card when a big event happens.  I put out lit-up pumpkin lights for Halloween, I hang Christmas lights in November, and I serve my kids red and pink food all day on Valentine’s Day.  But I’m not about stuff.  Gifts, gifts, and more gifts are not my style.

So, back to the note from my son’s teacher.  Halloween is already a big event at school when you’re in Junior Kindergarten, and my son was beyond excited that he got to wear his costume to school.  They also had a dance-a-thon in the gym, a movie in the classroom, and a costume parade through the halls.  It was a big deal.  It IS a big deal.  But I didn’t buy him, or his classmates, a gift.  Because the joy we had leading up to Halloween, the laughs we had trick-or-treating, and the memories we made on our neighbourhood streets were worth far more than a $5 loot bag could hold.

Call me a killjoy, call me cheap, call me a poor sport.  I will call me low-key.  I’m for jeans and a ponytail over dress pants and up-dos.  I’m for experiences over things.  I’m for earning over deserving.  I’m for opportunities over entitlement.

Happy Halloween!

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‘Children Learn What They Live’

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I first saw the poem ‘Children Learn What They Live’ written on the wall of my doctor’s office nearly a decade ago.  Single and childless, the only childhood I was familiar with was my own.  But lately, as I watch the day-to-day moments, both mundane and miraculous, of my children’ lives, I find myself thinking about this poem.

It’s stuck with me.  It’s resonated.  It’s made me think.  Perhaps it will do the same for you.

***

If a child lives with criticism,
 he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
 he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
 he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
 he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule, 
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,
 he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,
 he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement, 
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
 he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance, 
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval, 
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
 he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing, 
he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness, 
he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,
 he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness, 
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity, 
your child will live with peace of mind.

With what is your child living?

~Dorothy Law Nolte

***

So let’s fill our homes with encouragement and tolerance, praise and acceptance, approval and recognition, sharing and honesty, fairness and security, friendliness and serenity.  Let’s make our kids confident and patient, appreciative and loved, ambitious and generous, conscientious and trusting, friendly and peaceful.  I’m off to get started…

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