Sunday at 3:00

Leave a comment April 2, 2013 drworobec

We had a wonderful Easter weekend- it was full of Spring sunshine, Easter egg hunts, and family gatherings. But the best part was Sunday at 3:00.

We live in a neighborhood full of young families- there are more strollers than cars, more baby bottles than beer bottles, and more schools than stores. It is a great place to raise our children, and that’s been reaffirmed many times since we bought our house nearly two years ago. What I didn’t count on though, was the seemingly simple moments that make the largest impact and create the biggest impressions on my children.

As we pulled both kids in the wagon around the neighborhood on Saturday morning, we noticed hand-made signs taped to the lightposts, announcing a ‘Free Bike Wash’, to take place on Sunday afternoon. The childish penmanship was neat and carefully written, and promised to ‘make your bike shine’. My 4-year-old son’s face lit up immediately.

Him: “You mean they’ll wash my bike?”

Me: “Yes. The address is listed on the sign. We can ride over tomorrow afternoon.”

Him: “How do they know how to wash bikes? Who will be washing the bikes? What will they use to wash the bikes?”

His curiosity and wonder was all-encompassing. Imagine: a neighborhood event, just for kids, organized by other kids. For him, it seemed too good to be true.

We walked over to the address listed on the signs, and talked to the 9-year-old boy who lives across the street from us. My shy little guy proudly announced that he would be bringing his bike to the Bike Wash at 3:00 tomorrow. As we went inside, our doorbell rang. It was the bike-washers bringing an appointment reminder note for Drew. Sunday 3:00. We hung the reminder on our fridge door. Then we hosted Easter dinner. We went to church. We did all sorts of wonderful family things while Sunday at 3:00 hung in the distance.

And when Sunday at 3:00 finally rolled around, as slowly as time passes in a 4-year-old’s world, it was raining. The Bike Wash went ahead anyways, and an impressionable little boy made new friends, felt a sense of community, learned the value of helping others, and had fun. All on Sunday at 3:00.

Yes, I Paint my Son’s Fingernails

8 Comments February 12, 2013 drworobec

I had an eye-opening moment yesterday morning.

While his baby sister had her morning nap, my 4-year-old son asked me to paint his fingernails. I thought nothing of it, and grabbed my bag of assorted nail polish and told him to choose some colours. I have painted his fingernails a few times before, usually when I’m painting my own and he wants to be included. But that’s not where the eye-opener happened. It happened later, when we left the house, and his fingernails were on display in front of the public eye.

He was judged. I could see it. I could see it in the raised eyebrows, the questions, and the appeasing smiles and nods. I hope he didn’t see it too. But, then again, I know he didn’t see it. He didn’t see it because he’s too young to understand it. Children are born without negative judgement or criticism, and are filled instead with complete acceptance, pure innocence, and absolute naivety.

It makes me wonder: why is it such a big deal that a 4-year-old boy has painted fingernails? Why is it even questioned? Any parent can tell you that children model behaviours seen at home, including mundane things like fingernail painting. He wanted his fingernails painted because he thought it would be fun. Simple as that. And if he wants to play with dolls and wear pink clothes, then I will let him, because it’s fun. Just like I will let my daughter cut her hair short and play with trucks and wear blue clothes. If she wants to. If it’s fun.

But what about teasing? I wouldn’t want him to be teased by other kids, would I? Well, who would he be teased by? By those who have not yet learned acceptance? You teach them acceptance by accepting them. It starts at home. It starts with me painting his fingernails. It continues with me asking him if anyone at his Nursery School mentioned his fingernails. It ends with me explaining that different people like different things and it’s okay to be unique.

Celebrate differences, don’t judge them.

Here are the cute little hands in question.

Wear the Dress Socks

7 Comments December 11, 2012 drworobec

Last week my three-year-old proudly showed me the new socks he’d worn to bed the night before. Grey and red pirate socks, they are one pair of a two-pack we bought the previous day at the mall. The other new pair is a grey and red plaid Christmas pattern, and has more of a ‘dressy’ look to it.

“Daddy wouldn’t let me wear the Christmas socks to bed, he said they were too dressy,” my son told me. Now this isn’t meant to call out my husband and his parenting choices, as he is an incredible father and amazes me daily with his patience and kindness; but rather, this conversation made me pause and take a look at my own arbitrary rules and standards. I have heard myself say things like “put that shirt back in your closet, it’s for special occasions” or “don’t use the sparkly stickers, we’ll save those”. Save them for what? For a day other than today? Why not bring simple pleasures into our day to day life? And what better way to bring bits of effortless joy and innocent happiness than using nice shirts, sparkly stickers, and dress socks.

So use your china for pizza night. Use your good conditioner daily. Take the cushion covers off your sofa and the protective liners off your car’s floor mats. Eat the richest cheesecake. Grind the best coffee beans. Open the good beer.

Don’t make home improvements to your house so you can sell it, but make home improvements so you can enjoy it. Use your finest napkins. Wear your softest sweater. Pull out your best duvet. Throw on your new running shoes. Write on your fancy stationary with your special pen.

And that bottle of red wine that you’ve been saving for a special occasion? Open it tonight and have a glass. Celebrate a Tuesday. Oh, and those new wineglasses in the back of your cupboard? Use them too.

And wear the dress socks.