September: we can do it.

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Guys, I’m not going to lie.  My world has been rocked these past few weeks.  The September transition is always a huge one for our family, and this year it has been even more amplified, as 3/4 of my family members (one husband, two children) headed back to school.  For me, that’s meant a huge increase in my work hours and a big shift in the everyday life I’ve known for the past several years.  And all of this whirlwind of change has happened very suddenly, after the adventures of Summer.  Whew.  I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and mentally drained, emotionally fragile and physically exhausted.

I know this will pass.  I know it’s the transition that is the hardest part.  But when you’re in the eye of the storm, it’s hard to see through it to the blue skies on the other end.  We’ll get there.

Why am I telling you this?  Well, truth be told I really debated whether or not I should share this stuff online.  Part of me craves privacy, part of me wants to keep up a stoic facade, but the bigger part of me wanted to let you know that I go through this stuff too. This struggle in particular, I want to be public, because I know so many of you are going through this with me.  Change is hard, and when you couple change with parenthood stress it can seem unmanageable.

I’m looking inward and focusing on me, and that’s what I’ll continue to do until this chaos passes.  I’m still running, I’m still going to the gym, I’m still focused on my nutrition and my sleep.  I have learned that I need all of these things to function at my best.  And in periods of stress, I need them more than ever, albeit I’m getting them in irregular proportions.

Take care of yourselves so that you can continue to give all that you can.  Times of stress are not times to skip taking care of you, they are times to prioritize taking care of you.

If you’re going through this transition at your house too, hang in there.  We can do it.

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Plugged in

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I bring my kids with me to the gym often, especially in the Summer months, when my teacher husband is home and he and I get the chance to do a workout together.  The kids are very used to this drill and part of the routine involves watching iPad videos.  There’s a great front foyer at my gym; a large, open area overlooking the workout floor but separated by a half-wall.  They set up their chairs, I set up the Netflix, and they don their headphones and lay out the snacks.  For one hour, three or four days a week, they get an hour of iPad time and my husband and I get an hour of fitness and friends.

But I wonder about the judgement.

We almost always bring the iPad to the gym.  They almost always use it for the entire hour.  I almost always wonder if we should bring books and scooters instead.

Here’s the thing: we are pretty strict about screen time.  My kids each get 20-30 minutes per day.  Usually my son chooses an iPad game and my daughter chooses a Netflix cartoon, and in the Summertime, they often use their screen time right after breakfast.  On CrossFit days, they use it at the gym.  We are an active family with a busy life and we throw in a family afternoon movie once in a while and watch nearly all Jays games in their entirety.  TV is a part of our life, but not a big part, so why do I feel so guilty about plugging them in while I work out?  Perhaps it’s because of my worry about public perception or perhaps it’s because of the contradiction between their physical inactivity during my physical activity.

Whatever the reason, I’m trying to adopt my husbands stance on this (and on many things), “we do what’s right for our family.”  Yes, we do.  And this works for us.

The truth is, I’m not a huge TV person; my screen of choice is my phone.  But I do enjoy decompressing on the couch at the end of the day, nearly every day, with my husband, the TV in the background and my iPhone in the foreground.  My blog post last week talked about my need for daily solitude and downtime, both of which my kids deserve to have as well.  And if that downtime is sometimes done in front of a screen for sixty minutes, then so be it.

My kids love coming to the gym.  They love flipping on the rings, hanging from the pullup bars, swinging the kettlebells, and having their iPad time.  And when they grow up and look back on Summer childhood memories, I know that an iPad screen will not be a major player.  “We do what’s right for our family.”  3-2-1-Go.

 

Solitude

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I arrived to my hot yoga class forty-five minutes early yesterday morning.  I’d misread the holiday schedule, and showed up to find an empty parking lot and a locked studio door.  I probably could’ve gone back home, as it’s only a five minute drive each way, but I felt myself longing for some solitude.  So I stayed in my car, opened the doors, and wrote this post while wrapped in the bliss of fresh air, Summer sunshine, and a holiday Monday.

Solitude is not something I get a lot of; with a young family, busy job, and great friends, alone time is rare.  For many of you, I’m sure that’s also the case.  But, as I’m learning, solitude is something I absolutely need to be my best self.  I’d say I’m an extroverted introvert, if that’s even a thing, and what really refreshes and resets me is time alone.  I see this trait in my son as well, and cater to and protect his downtime daily.  For me, sometimes it’s just a few deep breaths and a brief moment with my thoughts before I feel regrouped and ready to tackle the next task.  Yesterday, it meant a 75-minute yoga class and a half hour in my quiet car.  I needed it yesterday.  I could feel it, I was craving it.

I’d met up with a dear friend of mine the night before, for a movie and then a walk, and we talked about exactly this: alone time and self-discovery and reflection.  She’s very good at self-improvement and introspection, and I always look to her lead in those areas.  Her recent discovery is that of a 24-hour solo retreat; that is, 24 hours away from home, alone.  No to-do lists or timelines or schedules or expectations.  This “solo retreat” is a foreign concept to me, something I hadn’t considered, and something I’ve never done in the 7.5 years that I’ve been a parent.  She certainly piqued my interest.

My husband and I had a similar conversation awhile ago, regarding my need for a daily dose of solitude.  “That’s one of the things I love about running,” I told him, “it gives me alone time to think.”  To think, and breathe, and dream.  My 24-hour retreat would involve lots of sleep, lots of writing, lots of food, and lots of running.

What would yours look like?

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