parenting

7 Comments December 11, 2012 drworobec

Last week my three-year-old proudly showed me the new socks he’d worn to bed the night before. Grey and red pirate socks, they are one pair of a two-pack we bought the previous day at the mall. The other new pair is a grey and red plaid Christmas pattern, and has more of a ‘dressy’ look to it.

“Daddy wouldn’t let me wear the Christmas socks to bed, he said they were too dressy,” my son told me. Now this isn’t meant to call out my husband and his parenting choices, as he is an incredible father and amazes me daily with his patience and kindness; but rather, this conversation made me pause and take a look at my own arbitrary rules and standards. I have heard myself say things like “put that shirt back in your closet, it’s for special occasions” or “don’t use the sparkly stickers, we’ll save those”. Save them for what? For a day other than today? Why not bring simple pleasures into our day to day life? And what better way to bring bits of effortless joy and innocent happiness than using nice shirts, sparkly stickers, and dress socks.

So use your china for pizza night. Use your good conditioner daily. Take the cushion covers off your sofa and the protective liners off your car’s floor mats. Eat the richest cheesecake. Grind the best coffee beans. Open the good beer.

Don’t make home improvements to your house so you can sell it, but make home improvements so you can enjoy it. Use your finest napkins. Wear your softest sweater. Pull out your best duvet. Throw on your new running shoes. Write on your fancy stationary with your special pen.

And that bottle of red wine that you’ve been saving for a special occasion? Open it tonight and have a glass. Celebrate a Tuesday. Oh, and those new wineglasses in the back of your cupboard? Use them too.

And wear the dress socks.

4 Comments October 30, 2012 drworobec

Humility. hu-mil-i-ty. (hyoo-mil-i-tee). Noun. The quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank, etc.

When I think of the values I want to instill in my children, humility ranks near the top of the list.

There are two people in my life who come to mind when I think of humility, or in their case, a lack thereof. Both of these people talk more than listen, brag more than compliment, and gloat more than praise. Their arrogance and showmanship is distasteful, off-putting, and often times insulting. But as I thought about it, I realized they’re patting themselves on the back because they’re worried no one else will. Insecurity and lack of humility go hand in hand. If a person is not secure with themselves, they have to broadcast their accomplishments for all to hear, in the hopes that they’ll feel better about themselves.

This is where my parenting mission starts. To instill humility, I must instill confidence. To instill humility, I must instill pride. To instill humility, I must instill self esteem.

“Do you wish to be great? Then begin by being.

Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric?

Think first about the foundations of humility.

The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation.”

~Saint Augustine

So let’s go build foundations for our kids. Deep ones. So that they may be accomplished and humble.