Gifts and gifts and gifts, Oh My!

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My son, who’s four, came home from Junior Kindergarten last Thursday afternoon with a backpack full of loot bags.  Halloween loot bags.  Halloween loot bags from friends that he has known for eight weeks that were passed out to the entire 18-kid class, labelled ‘To My Friend’, and stuffed with Halloween pencils and erasers, balloons, glow-in-the-dark sticks, and spider rings.  I received a note from his teacher the week prior, reminding parents that if they wanted to “send something in for Halloween” it had to be non-food-related due to allergy concerns.  I chose not to send anything in, and here’s why:

When did this never-ending cycle of gift-giving start?  There’s the obvious biggies- Christmas and birthdays.  But when did it become commonplace to shower our children with ‘stuff’ every month of the year?  There’s back-to-school gifts in September, Halloween gifts in October, and New Year’s gifts in January.  Don’t forget the Valentine’s hoop-la in February, Dr. Seuss Day in March, and Easter baskets in April.  Oh, and Thanksgiving and Canada Day and the first day of Spring. What about June?  Ah yes, the “passing present” when they finish school.  Yes, you read that right: a passing present- that is, buying them a present for “passing” to the next grade level.

Please don’t get me wrong.  I am all about celebrations.  I am the first one to give a hug, a congratulatory phone call, or mail a card when a big event happens.  I put out lit-up pumpkin lights for Halloween, I hang Christmas lights in November, and I serve my kids red and pink food all day on Valentine’s Day.  But I’m not about stuff.  Gifts, gifts, and more gifts are not my style.

So, back to the note from my son’s teacher.  Halloween is already a big event at school when you’re in Junior Kindergarten, and my son was beyond excited that he got to wear his costume to school.  They also had a dance-a-thon in the gym, a movie in the classroom, and a costume parade through the halls.  It was a big deal.  It IS a big deal.  But I didn’t buy him, or his classmates, a gift.  Because the joy we had leading up to Halloween, the laughs we had trick-or-treating, and the memories we made on our neighbourhood streets were worth far more than a $5 loot bag could hold.

Call me a killjoy, call me cheap, call me a poor sport.  I will call me low-key.  I’m for jeans and a ponytail over dress pants and up-dos.  I’m for experiences over things.  I’m for earning over deserving.  I’m for opportunities over entitlement.

Happy Halloween!

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‘Children Learn What They Live’

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I first saw the poem ‘Children Learn What They Live’ written on the wall of my doctor’s office nearly a decade ago.  Single and childless, the only childhood I was familiar with was my own.  But lately, as I watch the day-to-day moments, both mundane and miraculous, of my children’ lives, I find myself thinking about this poem.

It’s stuck with me.  It’s resonated.  It’s made me think.  Perhaps it will do the same for you.

***

If a child lives with criticism,
 he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
 he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
 he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
 he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule, 
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,
 he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,
 he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement, 
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
 he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance, 
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval, 
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
 he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing, 
he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness, 
he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,
 he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness, 
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity, 
your child will live with peace of mind.

With what is your child living?

~Dorothy Law Nolte

***

So let’s fill our homes with encouragement and tolerance, praise and acceptance, approval and recognition, sharing and honesty, fairness and security, friendliness and serenity.  Let’s make our kids confident and patient, appreciative and loved, ambitious and generous, conscientious and trusting, friendly and peaceful.  I’m off to get started…

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Girls: Meet Tara. Meet Jenny.

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I have just become aware of a wonderful new observance put forth by the United Nations, called “International Day of the Girl Child“.  This year’s October 11th commemoration focused on “innovating for girl’s education”.

Girls, let me introduce you to two remarkable women, one of whom is my cousin (Tara), and the other I went to High School with (Jenny).  I hope that these examples of smart, strong, exceptional women can be an inspiration for you, as they are for me.

Meet Tara.

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Yesterday, she was elected Mayor of Red Deer, Alberta.  She’s 35.  She’s been a Red Deer City Councillor for three consecutive terms, the first of which occurred when she was just 26.  She is a leader, an innovator, and an incredible example of believing in yourself.

Meet Jenny.

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She’s a Pediatric Neurosurgeon.  She’s also 35.  She’s the first woman ever to graduate from the University of Alberta’s Neurosurgery program.  She is smart, she’s a hard worker, and she has climbed her way through a vastly male-dominated profession.

So I’ll say it again, girls.  Meet Tara.  Meet Jenny.  Now be like them.  Get an education, be your best, follow your dreams.  Oh, and dream BIG.