Be a Father

Leave a comment

With Father’s Day approaching, I was going through my old blog posts to see what I had written about previously in regards to dads, daughters, and husbands.  There’s no re-dos here in blog land.

But this year, Father’s Day has shifted a bit for me.  You see, there’s a little boy in our lives who recently lost his dad to cancer.  And he’s all I can think about.  He’s five years old.  Five.  The same age as my son.  We’ve tried to help- we’ve made meals, we’ve taken him on day trips, we’ve hosted playdates.  We’ve wrestled with him, blown bubbles, went golfing, and watched a movie.  We’ve been inquisitive and interested and protective and loving.  But we’re not his dad, and his hurt is fresh.

So, this Father’s Day, I challenge you, men and women alike, to ‘be a father’.
Be kind.
Be present.
Be supportive.
Be a teacher.
Be brave.
Be helpful.
Be a listener.
Be fun.
Be loving.
Be loved.

Daughter-and-Father-Quotes-and-sayings-Father-Quotes-from-Daughter

Happy Father’s Day.

“Do you Adjust Children?”

2 Comments

***This was originally written as a Guest Blog post for Momstown.ca.***

I got asked this question at the gym the other day.  Someone I barely knew, stopped me mid-warmup to ask, “you’re a chiropractor, right?  Do you adjust children?”  And I guess that’s a fair question.  But my “yes I am and yes I do” response was met with a skeptical “wow, I can’t believe that people do that.”  Hmmmm, now how to respond?

I guess I could’ve said that chiropractors are neuro-musculoskeletal (NMSK) specialists; NMSK means nerves, muscles, and joints.  That we’re primary healthcare providers.  That we can diagnose.  That we’ve got 7+ years of post-secondary education.  But that’s too “wordy” for casual conversation.

I could’ve said that I have two young children and regularly check their spines and adjust them as necessary.  Or that they both received their first adjustments within hours of their births.  Or that my son’s neck was so restricted that he would only nurse on one side pre-adjustment.  Or that a lower back/pelvic adjustment is the best laxative I’ve found for them.  Or that my kids “play chiropractor.”  Nah, too “mommy.”

I could’ve said that the birth process is pretty intense and can be traumatic on tiny spines.  I could’ve said that I’ve seen incredible results with colic, constipation, and congenital torticollis in my practice.  I could’ve said that children respond remarkably well and exceptionally fast to treatment.  I could’ve said that we get our children’s teeth, eyes, and ears checked, so why not their spines too?  No, too “clinical”.

I could’ve said that I’ve taken extensive post-graduate studies in pediatric care.  Or that the research supports chiropractic treatment in the pediatric population.  Or that I am thoroughly confident in the safety of everything I do and I must “first, do no harm”.  Nope, too “academic”.

Instead, I said “yes, people do that.  We all do what we think is best for our children.”  Then I finished my workout….. and went home to adjust my kids.

ahh

This was a Tough One to Write

4 Comments

This post was a tough one to write, full of raw emotion and feelings of vulnerability, like very few other posts I’ve written.  But I think there’s an important message to be shared here, and that’s why I’ve decided to publish this.  I hope that this is a message of trying your best, knowing your limits, and being gentle to oneself.

Let me get to the point:  last month, we had to re-home our beloved puppy.  This decision was a long process, full of tears and pros-and-cons and back-and-forths.  But in the end, we did what we thought was best for him.  And for us.

Both my husband and I are “dog people” who grew up with dogs by our side- and we had a wonderful Chocolate Lab named Tyson for the first eight years of our relationship, who sadly passed away in September 2012.  However, our puppy Oz, an 80-lb Chocolate Labradoodle, is/was a gentle soul full of friendly energy.  We got him only a year ago, in May 2013, when he was just eight weeks old, and he soon became a constant companion for our children.  But as he grew, so did the am-I-giving-him-what-he-needs doubts.  Then came my two-year-old’s amblyopia diagnosis, and the choice became clear.

When her eye was patched, we were told, she would be virtually blind.  Add in an 80-lb puppy bouncing around, and I became overwhelmed.  It seemed I just didn’t have enough to give….. not enough energy, not enough time, not enough love.  I didn’t want to resent our dog for just being a dog.  I saw this on Facebook and I think it says it all:

1621787_1626567444057820_1433853407_n1

He simply needed more than what we could give him.  And so we diligently searched, extensively interviewed, and thoroughly screened potential families…. and we found the perfect fit.

Done and done.  So what’s made this post so hard to write?  The guilt part, the failure part, the I-made-a-mistake part.  The I’m-sorry-I-just-couldn’t-do-it-all part.  I’m a Type-A, first-born, female Virgo with high expectations and self-imposed perfectionism.  To feel defeat and admit to failing is hard for me.  It’s taken me more than a month to begin to see this situation in a different light, but I’m slowly getting there.

Failure-Quotes-2

And I’m trying to focus on “rising up”.