April, May, June

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My youngest child is heading off to Junior Kindergarten (JK) in September.  In Ontario, children are registered in JK the year that they turn four.  Kindergarten is a two-year, play-based curriculum, and it became a full-day program across the province in 2014.  So, in just a few months, off she will go to join her brother in the everyday school world.

She’s ready.  I, on the other hand, most certainly am not.

When my son was born in 2009, I chose to take a huge step back from my career.  I had only been in practice for a few years at that point, and it soon became clear that I could not operate a clinic and be at home with my son as much as I wanted to be.  Something had to give, so I sold my clinic in 2010 and have worked as an Independent Contractor, running my business within a business, since then.  In 2013, after my daughter was born, I found my BSSC family and planted my practice roots.  Now here I am, for the first time in seven and a half years, preparing to go back to full-time hours. The chapter of my life with young children at home, a chapter that seemed to stretch endlessly before me, is in fact, coming to a close.

My husband and I have always altered our schedules to work opposite hours so that one of us can be at home with our kids.  For the first three years, that meant just my son and I had our mornings together, and for the last two years it’s been just my daughter and I.  But she and I only have three months left of our girls-only weekdays.  My husband is a teacher, so will be back at home starting in July, as will my son, who is finishing Grade 1.  Just April, May, June, and then the page turns.

They say that the days are long but the years are short.  And they’re right.

Here’s to twelve more weeks of what-shall-we-do-today mornings….

Magnetic Force Field

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I am convinced that I have a magnetic force field around me.  This force field can only be felt by my children.  Wherever I go, whatever I do, there they are, right beside me; observing, questioning, chatting, smiling.  This has become especially obvious in our new home, as the Master bedroom is on the main floor, just off our primary kitchen/family room living space.  It seems that I cannot get dressed by myself, pack my gym bag, fold some laundry, or even use the bathroom without one or two little faces following closely behind me.

My three-year-old daughter has also taken to wandering into our bed halfway through the night, and snuggling up to me so closely that I have to pull back the covers or be cooked from the heat her little body gives off.  “Can we snuggle, Mommy?” she’ll whisper to me in her sleep-drunk state.  “We are snuggling,” I’ll reply, as she’s pressed up against me head-to-toe.  “No, put your arms around me,” she says.  And so I cocoon all 35lbs of her, and back to sleep we drift.

I won’t lie to you: there are times that have children constantly underfoot can get a bit overwhelming.  Times when I just want five minutes to not have to answer a “why” question or play eye-spy.  Times when I would give anything to have a sleep-in or a quiet meal or a movie uninterrupted.  But those times are far fewer than the times that I marvel at my children’s dependence on me.

I marvel at their trust, their complete faith, their staggering belief in me.

They are seven and almost-four now.  My baby girl starts full-day Kindergarten in the Fall.  This chapter of work-part-time-while-the-kids-are-little is nearly over.  My daytime focus can soon shift from the kids to the clinic.  When I took my foot off the gas of my career seven years ago, I saw this next phase in the far-off distance.  And now it’s in my direct sights.

I will take the magnetic force field, while it’s still here.  Its power is likely to fade in the very near future, and when it’s gone I know that I will miss it.

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The Gift of Experience

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My son is turning seven this week.  I wrote a post about him two years ago, on the eve of his 5th birthday.  Now five seems like a distant memory, and I have a seven-year-old full-blown boy on my hands.  If you’ve got a child in your life, you will understand the disbelief I’m feeling that another year has flown by.  Time speeds up exponentially when you’ve measure it through the growth of children.

We hemmed and hawed about what to get him.  With Christmas just past, hand-me-downs from older cousins, and the blessing of a comfortable life, there isn’t much that he actually needs.  And while I do think that birthdays are a chance to venture beyond the “need” category and into the “wants,” I felt the unease of excess creeping in.  My heart lies in minimalism and I didn’t feel good about buying more “stuff” just to checkmark a box on the birthday to-do list.  So we did what we often do; we got him a gift of experience.

We surprised him with tickets to Monster Jam in Toronto and dinner at a restaurant afterwards.  Our Sunday was spent with two very excited children, riding the GO train, enjoying the monster truck action, and having a special birthday dinner.  The four of us were together the entire day, adding to our memory banks and learning more about what makes our children so very special, so very unique, so very much our most precious gifts.  We will remember this birthday.  And he will too.

Happy birthday to the kid that’s changed my everything.

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