The Shoulds

2 Comments

***This post was originally written as a Guest Blog post for Momstown.ca.***

I’ve recently been corresponding with another female chiropractor, whom I worked with long, long ago…. I mean, before-I-was-even-a-chiro long ago.  She has just had her first baby, and now she’s trying to navigate the challenge that is being a working mom.

“Often it feels a lot like you should be able to manage it all,” she said in a recent email.  And that, my friends, sums up the motherhood condition known as “The Shoulds”.

  • I should be able to work as much as I used to.
  • I should be able to wear my pre-pregnancy clothes.
  • I should be able to smile and laugh and play with my baby all day.
  • I should be able to get up early.
  • I should be able to keep my house clean.
  • I should be able to do it all.

Guess what mamas?  You can’t.  Motherhood is an all-consuming, priority-shifting, time-altering new reality.  So, what’s a girl to do?  Well, you have to choose what’s going to change.  You can choose sleep or fitness or work or socializing or housework or….. see what I mean?  There are simply not enough hours in the day to do it all, always.  My choice is less sleep (okay, far less sleep), part-time work, and a perpetually dirty kitchen floor; it wouldn’t have worked for the childless me, but it works for the mama in me.  And I’m slowly recovering from “The Shoulds”.

My motherhood experience began on January 22nd, 2009.

My motherhood experience began on Jan 22nd, 2009.

This New Year, Change Your Normal

Leave a comment

***This was originally written as a Guest Blog post for Momstown.ca.***

With the New Year upon us, it seems that the online world has exploded with ‘Top 5 Ways to Get Fit’ posts.  This is not one of those posts.

You see, I believe the way to get fit is to be fit as a child and then stay fit as an adult.  Huh?  Yep, that’s my theory: it’s easier to stay fit than it is to get fit.

Every year, people all over the world make resolutions to get fit on January 1st.  Often, these resolutions hold true for a month or two, and then the ‘get fit’ goal slips by the wayside.  This is made quite clear in a big-box gym parking lot that is full in January and empty in March.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t resolve to get fit, in fact, I hope that you do.  Write it down, broadcast it, tell your friends.  Make it your goal.  But I hope that rather than saying ‘My resolution is to get in shape’, you say ‘My resolution is to change my lifestyle to make being in shape a normal part of life for my children’.  See the difference?

So on Sunday morning, go for a run with your children.  Put them in a stroller or on a bike and let them see you sweat.  Let them see you get winded and take walk breaks and drink water.  Let them see how good you feel afterwards.  Take them for walks and swims and skates.  Take them sledding and canoeing and hiking.  Take them to high-school basketball games, community road races, and charity hockey games so that they can see other people being active and enjoying it.  Make exercise a part of their life rather than a chore on their to-do list.

Normalcy is grown in childhood and accepted in adulthood.  Change your normal.

IMG_0883

This picture makes me think of warmer days gone by…

‘Children Learn What They Live’

2 Comments

I first saw the poem ‘Children Learn What They Live’ written on the wall of my doctor’s office nearly a decade ago.  Single and childless, the only childhood I was familiar with was my own.  But lately, as I watch the day-to-day moments, both mundane and miraculous, of my children’ lives, I find myself thinking about this poem.

It’s stuck with me.  It’s resonated.  It’s made me think.  Perhaps it will do the same for you.

***

If a child lives with criticism,
 he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
 he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
 he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
 he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule, 
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,
 he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,
 he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement, 
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
 he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance, 
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval, 
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
 he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing, 
he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness, 
he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,
 he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness, 
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity, 
your child will live with peace of mind.

With what is your child living?

~Dorothy Law Nolte

***

So let’s fill our homes with encouragement and tolerance, praise and acceptance, approval and recognition, sharing and honesty, fairness and security, friendliness and serenity.  Let’s make our kids confident and patient, appreciative and loved, ambitious and generous, conscientious and trusting, friendly and peaceful.  I’m off to get started…

IMG_0432