“If Children Live with Friendliness, they Learn the World is a Nice place in which to Live.”

I had a group of friends over one morning through the Christmas break.  There were five of us, just a casual coffee-and-muffin kinda thing after our workout.  It was a chance to catch up and snag some girlfriend time in a world that needs more girlfriends.  Meanwhile, my kids were loving the extra action in our living room, and proudly demonstrated their toy saxophone skills, played Spot It with a new audience, and snacked right along with us on the food platters spread out on the coffee table.

I loved it.

I loved it because I love low-key, last-minute get-togethers.  I loved it because I love to show my children the value and importance of nurturing friendships.  I loved it because they were involved too.

We host friends quite regularly and as much as we can, we try to keep our children involved in those gatherings.  Come to think of it, we try to keep our children involved in everything we do.  They often visit my workplace, watch sporting events at my husband’s school, and tag along to the gym.  We take them to festivals and rodeos, baseball games and the movies, live theatre and hotel overnights.  We try to expose them to a life well-lived and well-loved.  I take live-in-the-moment advice to heart, and I’ll chose experiences over stuff every time.

But I think these friendship experiences are especially important for them to be a part of, and help to build the idea that it takes a village to raise a child.  In those couple of hours on a wintery holiday morning, they learned some important social lessons like not interrupting a person’s story, how good a belly laugh feels, and how fulfilled someone can be just by hosting people in their home.  They watched, they listened, they observed, they contributed.  They grew.

“What was your highlight today?” I asked them, as I often do, during their baths that night.  “Having your friends over,” they said.  Me too kids, me too.

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Breakfast is our Dinner

My work hours are set up so that I work until 7:30pm on Mondays and 6:30pm on Fridays.  These are my two “late days” and, as such, I miss out on dinner with my family two nights per week.  But, breakfast is our dinner.

A lot is said about family meal times, and the benefits of eating together; and, most often, the focus on family meals centers around dinnertime.  But we’ve managed to find a solution that works for us, and I can absolutely say that 7:00am-8:00am is my favourite hour of the day.  This is the hour that all four of us are together, consistently.  Every.  Single.  Day.  We all eat breakfast together and talk about the day ahead, and it sets a remarkable tone for Team Worobec.

It hasn’t always been this way.  Before our move last year, we missed out on my husband joining us two or three mornings per week.  On those days, he would head to the gym for 6am, shower onsite, and drive straight to work.  We lived too far from his workplace to make it happen any other way, and the kids and I would often chat with him on the phone as we ate our cereal and eggs.  So while we still had our beloved dinner-at-breakfast a couple of times a week, we didn’t have it every day, and when we did, it was far shorter.  This subtle change in morning routine has been an unexpected and profound benefit of our decision to move neighborhoods.

Why post this?  Because I have lots of patients who are parents, namely moms.  And lots of patients who share parenting-guilt stories with me, namely moms.  My treatment room conversations often turn into bare-your-soul discussions.  People seem to have very defined ideas of what family time, especially dinnertime, should look like.

Family life looks different for all of us.

And we’re all doing the best we can, finding ways to make it all fit.

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September: we can do it.

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Guys, I’m not going to lie.  My world has been rocked these past few weeks.  The September transition is always a huge one for our family, and this year it has been even more amplified, as 3/4 of my family members (one husband, two children) headed back to school.  For me, that’s meant a huge increase in my work hours and a big shift in the everyday life I’ve known for the past several years.  And all of this whirlwind of change has happened very suddenly, after the adventures of Summer.  Whew.  I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and mentally drained, emotionally fragile and physically exhausted.

I know this will pass.  I know it’s the transition that is the hardest part.  But when you’re in the eye of the storm, it’s hard to see through it to the blue skies on the other end.  We’ll get there.

Why am I telling you this?  Well, truth be told I really debated whether or not I should share this stuff online.  Part of me craves privacy, part of me wants to keep up a stoic facade, but the bigger part of me wanted to let you know that I go through this stuff too. This struggle in particular, I want to be public, because I know so many of you are going through this with me.  Change is hard, and when you couple change with parenthood stress it can seem unmanageable.

I’m looking inward and focusing on me, and that’s what I’ll continue to do until this chaos passes.  I’m still running, I’m still going to the gym, I’m still focused on my nutrition and my sleep.  I have learned that I need all of these things to function at my best.  And in periods of stress, I need them more than ever, albeit I’m getting them in irregular proportions.

Take care of yourselves so that you can continue to give all that you can.  Times of stress are not times to skip taking care of you, they are times to prioritize taking care of you.

If you’re going through this transition at your house too, hang in there.  We can do it.

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