The Shoulds

2 Comments March 11, 2014 drworobec

***This post was originally written as a Guest Blog post for Momstown.ca.***

I’ve recently been corresponding with another female chiropractor, whom I worked with long, long ago…. I mean, before-I-was-even-a-chiro long ago. She has just had her first baby, and now she’s trying to navigate the challenge that is being a working mom.

“Often it feels a lot like you should be able to manage it all,” she said in a recent email. And that, my friends, sums up the motherhood condition known as “The Shoulds”.

I should be able to work as much as I used to.
I should be able to wear my pre-pregnancy clothes.
I should be able to smile and laugh and play with my baby all day.
I should be able to get up early.
I should be able to keep my house clean.
I should be able to do it all.

Guess what mamas? You can’t. Motherhood is an all-consuming, priority-shifting, time-altering new reality. So, what’s a girl to do? Well, you have to choose what’s going to change. You can choose sleep or fitness or work or socializing or housework or….. see what I mean? There are simply not enough hours in the day to do it all, always. My choice is less sleep (okay, far less sleep), part-time work, and a perpetually dirty kitchen floor; it wouldn’t have worked for the childless me, but it works for the mama in me. And I’m slowly recovering from “The Shoulds”.

My motherhood experience began on January 22nd, 2009.

My motherhood experience began on Jan 22nd, 2009.

Oh, Gisele.

Leave a comment January 28, 2014 drworobec

***This was originally written as a Guest Blog post for Momstown.ca.***

Did you see this photo floating around the internet a couple of months ago?

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http://instagram.com/giseleofficial

People seemingly went crazy when Gisele Bundchen (who’s Gisele, you say? Oh, um, she’s the highest-paid supermodel in the world) posted this photo of her feeding her one-year-old daughter while getting ready for a photo shoot. She hashtagged it #multi-tasking, which to me, sums up motherhood perfectly.

But Social Media went crazy. I mean crazy crazy. And the sad part is, it was mostly the women. Mostly the mothers. It was the mothers who skipped past the critics that attacked her for tweeting a breastfeeding photo in the first place. It was the mothers who skipped past the critics that attacked her for nursing a one-year-old. It was the mothers who skipped right to the heart of the matter. It was the mothers who said “she’s not really multi-tasking. How hard is it to have someone do your hair and your nails while you feed your child?” Huh?

You see this beautiful photo of a mother nursing her baby and you choose to argue over semantics? The thing is, hair and nails are a part of her job. Just like phonecalls and meetings or customers and a cash register are a part of your job. Would you have criticized her if she was sitting behind a desk #multi-tasking? Or inside a cubicle? Or in her home office? I doubt it. The green of envy is not a flattering hue.

I see this picture and I see a beautiful example of motherhood. I see a toddler bonding with her mama. I see a chance to further breast-feeding activism. I see glitz and glamour and probably a little tongue-in-cheek. But mostly, I see a mom doing the best she can, #multi-tasking, within her set of circumstances.

I’m off to do the best I can, within mine.

Oh, Gisele.

Tomorrow, you are five.

6 Comments January 21, 2014 drworobec

Today, you are still four. But today is the last day for that. When you wake up tomorrow, my sweet boy, you will be five. A new half-decade, a whole hand, a next stage.

Five. Five is school-aged, five is way beyond toddler, five is full-on kid. Five is skinned knees and dirty socks and dump trucks and hockey. Five is opinions and conversations and growth.

The other day, you snuggled up to me and told me that I was “the best mom in the world”. Those words made me happier than I can explain. When you’re a parent yourself, you’ll understand. When you’re a teenager, I will remember this. Your “I-love-you”s, your “please-sing-me-a-song”s, your snuggles and cuddles and kisses, they will dwindle. Your independence will grow and our relationship will evolve. But for now, I’ll cherish my sweet, sensitive, cuddly little boy.

You are one half of my greatest accomplishment, my biggest treasure, my deepest emotion. My everyday-moment-joy doubles when you smile and raises tenfold when you laugh. I hurt when you hurt, and when you cry on the outside I cry on the inside. Before we had you, I wasn’t even sure I wanted children, or had a maternal instinct inside of me. You changed that, my love. You showed me a side of myself that I didn’t know even existed, and a side of myself that now seems so intuitive, so fateful, so clear, so this-is-what-I-was-meant-to-do obvious.

I am appreciating each day, each moment, each milestone with you. I’m learning to be a parent as you’re learning to be a kid. We’re in this together. It’s our journey. Here we go.